I used to be a big fan of beer – the darker, the better.
There’s nothing quite like having an ice cold beer after mowing the lawn or sometimes even while mowing the lawn. Or maybe even a six pack on the front porch on a Sunday afternoon.
At one point, I used to keep my outdoor fridge stocked full of beer. I was never one to drink cheap beer and would typically keep several varieties of micro brews.
So from where did beer originate?
After doing some research and reading various theories, it appears that no one is really sure.
Everyone seems to agree that beer is old, though. Looks like some scientists got together and ran some chemical tests on some pottery jars they found in present day Iran that tested positive for beer residue. This would seem to indicate that beer is at least 7,000 years old.
A lot of the details on the origins of beer are sketchy at best and if you were to ask me I think the truth is being hidden.
Honestly this smells like a conspiracy to me.
Let me tell you where I think beer originated.
These are the same guys who devoted their entire lives to studying religious texts and took vows of celibacy. They are also the same guys that needed to suppress any sexual urges or desires in order to fulfill their monastic duties.
Ever see a picture of a monk? They have that distinctive pear shape with male-pattern baldness.
Being a monk was tough. Being cooped up in a dreary monastery with no access to females day in and day out was a recipe for disaster.
What was the solution? The monks created beer.
Here are the 5 reasons you should be drinking beer:
- It lowers your testosterone – this helps keep you emasculated so THEY can walk all over you
- It helps you maintain your estrogen levels which is great for maintaining that pear shape (beer gut).
- It gets you drunk and impairs judgement
- It makes you docile (so THEY can take away more of your rights without you caring)
- It makes watching sports more interesting (so THEY can keep you distracted from what’s really happening)
Is there anything wrong with enjoying an occasional beer? Not really.
But if you want to lower your testosterone, impair your decision making process, and if you don’t particulary care if your rights are taken away from you while you are busy watching football, drinking beer, and eating a bowl of pretzels then keep knocking those brews back.